TAKE THE POINTZ

We made it! We are back!! We get to gamble on the NFL this week. We spent the summer putting in the family time and stacking our chips and therefore, we have every right to print money with the boys on Sundays and not hear any shit about it. This year it is all about unit control and finding that fine line. We want to find that amount that we’re kinda ok, kinda not ok with losing. Unit size should be small enough that you’re not going to wonder how to make your mortgage payment, but large enough to get your blood circulating and make “IT” move. This strategy will definitely go to shit by the time Sunday night at 8:15 rolls around and you are chasing to get even but hey, it is good to set goals even if they are totally unrealistic. Enough talk, let’s get into how we are gonna bankrupt our bookies this week.

CHIEFS -3 vs Ravens

If I started this blog last year, you would know I faded the chiefs four straight playoff games (bold strategy cotton). As much as I wanna see this through till it hits there is absolutely nobody I love fading more than Lamar, this is your classic double fade. Lamar has been straight trash homie against the chiefs (1-4). Easy way to start the season in the black

Pick: CHIEFS -3

These next few picks I like to call the Shelly Spaghetti locks of the week (🐚🍝🔒) if you’re still reading this, you are probably wondering why a guy who faded Mahomes four straight playoff games would have have the balls to give out picks and call them locks. It is the same self confidence and short memory that got me cut from my high school baseball team four straight years, so you might have a valid point questioning this entire blog. Buuuuuuuttttt tracking these picks last year against the spread I was hitting at 59%. So tailing them you might be able to get a little change in your pocket

EAGLES -2.5 Vs Packers

I have been allllll over Green Bay from the minute I saw this. Jordan Love was an absolute monster down the stretch last year and the whole Jalen Hurts Nick Sirianni relationship is giving me Willie Beamen Tony Damato Any given Sunday vibes. Take the +2.5 maybe even sprinkle that packers ML but taking the 2.5 is the move 

Pick : PACKERS +2.5

Falcons -3.5 vs STEELERS

I’ll fucking die on this hill that Russ can still make it happen 😂. Ok so he’s not 2020 Russ that tossed 40 TDs but he had a 98 rating last year and one less TD pass than Mahomes ( Jesus Christ I’m talking myself into him again 🫠) Bottom line Tomlin will always have them competitive and Russ is an upgrade from whatever sack of shit they rolled out last year and the whole world is gonna be on Atlanta overvaluing Cousins. Take the 3.5.

Pick: STEELERS +3.5

Bengals -9.5 vs PATRIOTS

There’s nothing I love more than taking a shit team with a quarterback who probably shouldn’t be out there trying to cover two scores. Joey B has been painfully slow in September and Chase might not play perfect spot for Jacoby Brissett to keep it close enough for a nice little back door cover at the end of the game.

Pick: PATRIOTS +9.5

BROWNS -2.5 vs Cowboys

This is the rat line of the week. Cowboys are a different team on grass ( saw that somewhere didn’t look into but I feel like it tracks) last image of the browns season was getting torched by the Texans. But their Defense was nasty at home last year. Swallow the 2.5 and go brownies.

Pick: BROWNIES -2.5

Lions -3.5vs RAMS

Stafford revenge game you’ve gotta take it everytime. He covered last year against the Lions in their playoff game when he was getting hit like Apollo in Rocky 4 he’ll do it again. Side note Dan Campbell calls a game like a pissed off teenager playing madden for $20 so I’m gonna trust Mcvay more.

Pick: RAMS +3.5

That’s all I got going into week 1 I don’t wanna expose myself as a fraud or a genius too early. Happy opening week and let’s bankrupt FanDuel or your bookie… LFG!!!!!